Thursday, July 26, 2007

Practice

Am leaving New York tomorrow. Only for a weekend. But any time I leave New York I have to pop the little bubbles of panic before they swell uncomfortably, like burps. Have to remind myself that I'll be coming back. The first time I left New York to go home for Thanksgiving I started to cry, just walking across Washington Square Park. Just crying at the thought of losing it.

I am hardly aware of the city unless I am about to leave it. Which is why I keep traveling. The last days and the first days anywhere are always the clearest, the sharpest, the days you can hold in your mouth without them dissolving.

So tomorrow is practice for a month from now when I will leave for 4 months. Not long to be gone. Not long to prepare to leave either.

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