Am leaving Oman on Thursday

Children are giving the mid-afternoon prayer. (They let little boys who are learning how to give the call to prayer say it in the afternoon sometimes)
For some reason it is always at the Adan that I seem to stop and write. That is one thing that I like about it. Although for me it is not religious, it sends the same message: Time is passing. Stop what you are doing and reflect on your day. Are you doing what you hoped? Are you accomplishing what needs to get down? At home I often seem to slide through entire afternoons into darkness without really having to take notice. And then another day is gone.
I will miss the Adan.
Waking up this morning, opening the curtain like every morning, seeing the sunlight like every morning. Especially during Ramadhan when with each morning came the dread of a long ordeal before evening, I would open the curtain hoping to see some change. I would almost cry when without fail the light looked exactly the same every day, not a cloud in the sky, the dust already floating in the sun. Now this is a comfort; it will be disconcerting perhaps to have to guess at what the weather will be each, especially returning as I am to a New York January. Hardly an enticing prospect.

I have been trying to write out in my head some of the things I want to communicate about Oman before I leave here and lose them. Aspects of life here that I worry I won’t be able to explain with enough eloquence or sufficient time in person, and so will try to write about them here.

Not to pick on my mom this time, but she sent an email saying that it seemed that I was “chomping at the bit” to leave Oman, feeling constrained by “Muslim culture”. I cannot say that this is entirely true or untrue. What I can say is “Muslim culture” is a reified construction: is there one thing that could be referred to as “Christian culture”? About a month ago I was looking forward to leaving, to having the Independent Research Project behind me, (turned it in today! Am giving a power point presentation on it tomorrow! Wish me luck!), and going to Yemen and Egypt. The bit at which I chomped was living with a family; not a “Muslim” family, but any family that expects to know my comings and goings and mealtimes. But in terms of feeling constrained by “Muslim culture” or “Omani culture” or “Middle Eastern culture” or whatever label we pin to it, the question becomes more complicated.

This ties into something with which I have struggled the entire time I have been here, as well as before. I think I mentioned perhaps in an earlier post about the discussions I had with people before coming. I could answer questions such as “Are you afraid?” (No.) “Why are you going?” (To learn Arabic and have the chance to live in an Omani family and feel as integrated as possible into a way of life and country different from that to which I am accustomed.) “What will you do with the experience?” (I hope to be able to speak about issues that, particularly since 9/11, many Americans feel confused by or afraid of. For example, the fact that unlike post-Reformation Christianity’s “separation of church and state”, part of Islam as a religion involves its incorporation as a way of life, i.e. in government. The Quran explains how an Islamic state should be run. This might seem threatening or alien to someone raised on the importance of separating the religious and the secular; from the perspective of Islam a state that does not incorporate religion would probably constitute an unjust and amoral system. The perspectives come from different mentalities: the Christian mentality coming from the distinction of religious affairs from those that must be subject to reason (science, government, law, etc), while the Muslim perspective coming from the belief that god has given the rules for government, behavior, science, etc…everything in the Quran. And the Quran has been preserved in perfect entirety as it was first transmitted to Prophet Mohammed in Arabic, (unlike the Bible for example, which is acknowledged as existing in various versions).
Reading over this, I sound like a mufti.
This is what I am afraid of: how to talk to people about an issue that looks completely different depending on the background assumptions and mentaility with which it is viewed. I run into the same thing here when soomeone will ask me about some aspect of American culture that confuses them. For example, women going uncovered. I could explain that from the perspective held by many in the West, personal freedom is important. If a woman wants to expose her body, for example wear a revealing bathing-suit at the beach, it is her right to do so without needing to feel ashamed and without having to deal with harassment from men (or women).
The perspective that might come back to me would be “But how can the woman’s body be respected if it is on display in such a way?”
I could try to answer “The respect comes from respecting her right to decide what to do with her own body”
The reply might be “But if she respects herself why would she want to have others looking at her exposure?”
“Because it is her choice.”
“So she is choosing to not respect herself?”
I could continue to hammer away at this point, but then I realize that I don’t even agree with what I am saying: while I do think a man or woman has the right to decide what to do with their body, I would not necessarily say this applies in all cases. Such as trying to make a case for “Playboy” as an example of female empowerment.
And so the discussion does not come to a satisfactory conclusion.
(If any one have thoughts or would like to hypothetically extend this discussion, please help me out!)
I imagine similar conversations perhaps taking place when I go home, trying to explain things to people that I only understood after living here. How I like wearing abaya, for example. Or incorporating religion into everyday life. Or
I do not want to imply that one system is better or worse than another, but that the misunderstandings that arise between them are perhaps harder to dispell than I had hoped. I think to some extent I wanted to go back to the USA with the ability to explain certain questions that come up Islam/the Middle East/Oman or whatever, questions that I could not answer before leaving. One in particular was from my friend Alex. He had told me that he had tried to understand some aspects of “The Middle East” and while he felt informed about some things, he couldn’t reconcile the treatment of women with anything positive.
I wanted to be able to come back and explain this to him, or to anyone who might ask that question or a similar one…and although I feel that I understand, at least to some extent, the idea of “woman” and how she is to be treated according to Islam, I cannot explain it in a way that Alex would understand. If if he understood he would still consider it “bad”. And somehow, although I can see what he means, I can also see what people here mean when they think that the Western idea of “woman” is wrong. (That is, man and woman as equal, at least theoretically, and able to inhabit the same spheres).
I would rattle on about this, but I really ought to be working on my presentation.
Itinerary for the next few days:
Monday December 10: Presentation
Tuesday December 11: Re-entry workshop with SIT, (they have to tell us that no one is going to care about our Oman experience, so don’t talk everyone’s ear off about it);
Shisha with my friends
Wednesday December 12: Re-entry workshop cont. Good-bye dinner with families
Thursday Dec. 13: Flight to Sana’a, Yemen
5 days in Yemen, staying at the Yemen College of Middle Eastern Studies, meeting with NGO’s and media prganizations for my possible Fulbright scholarship.
Monday Dec. 18: Flight Cairo. Meeting Uncle Bob and Aunt Myriam, preparing for desert camping trip.
January 4: Return to New York
January 6: Fly to Canada to see Mom, Dad and Sam for x-country skiing.
January ?: First day of class, final semester at NYU

I do not know when I will be back on the blog, insha’allah soon. But this is just in case: thanks to everyone who has read and especially to those who responded to what I have written here. Please, let me know what you think, what you want to know. Shukran!